Hello, I'm Connie Firmin

Hey! Welcome to your information connection for purity!  Dig around and make yourself at home.  You’ll find updates, devotionals, and tips to help you in your journey to purity and more on this TEEN INFO page.  See the RESOURCES link above?  We’ve just begun to create a list of great books and websites about purity to help you equip yourself.  Help us grow this list by making suggestions to add.  The last Friday of each month, we’ll have a Guest Post as well.  Stay a while, check out the Resources, leave some comments, and keep watching for updates.  We are so excited to have you here.  Thanks for helping spread the message of purity by tweeting/posting about this page.  Purity – It’s more than a casual choice.  It’s a lifestyle!

If you are a teen girl finishing 6th grade through high school and live in the Baton Rouge area, Summer Sparkle is the place to be!  Our team is gearing up for one fantastic summer with you in mind.  We will come together to dig deep into God’s Word, make lasting friendships, and have fun!  We’ll uncover the truth about purity, healthy relationships, accountability, real beauty and so much more.  Summer Sparkle wraps up the summer with an awesome pledge celebration for you with all of your friends and family (one of our favorite parts).  The cost is $25 (includes a Sparkle book, materials and a shirt).  You must pre-register to attend.

May 29th – July 10th
Tuesday nights 5:30pm-7pm
HPC Highland Campus

To SIGN UP or for more details, email us at conniefirmin@gmail.com. Bring your friends to Summer Sparkle. and help us spread the word.  Here are photos too from last year’s Pledge Celebration… click here.  What are you waiting for?  Come discover why you were born to Sparkle!

On the 4th Friday of each month, we invite someone to write a Guest Post on our Blog (www.conniefirmin.com).  This month, we are honored to have Lauren Martin share her heart with you.  We believe you will enjoy this month’s guest.  Feel free to leave questions or comments.  We love feedback!

I grew up like most kids having chores.  You know, chores like cleaning your room,washing dirty dishes, folding laundry, that kind of thing.  There was one chore that I hated… no,despised, and it always seemed to be my responsibility: Cleaning out the unattended leftovers hidden in the refrigerator.  Ugh!!  I’ve always hated dumping out the old stuff quietly growing in back of the fridge.  Sometimes those once delicious meals would splash grossness of the now science experiment on me.  One word:  Gross!

No longer do I live with my mother, but, of course, I still have to clean the fridge.  This got me to thinking one day.  Our sins are a lot like the mold that grew in those leftovers. The sin starts out in secret, growing inside of us, always in a place where no one is looking or suspecting. It expands from the inside out and eventually consumes us mind, body and soul.  Bit by bit, it breaks us down and pulls us further and further away from our friends, our family and, most importantly, God.  We may be able to hide our sin from the people around us, but it’s never, ever hidden from God.  It says so in Hebrews 4:13.  “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

Tucking things away and allowing them fester and grow inside keeps us from enjoying and growing in our relationship with God and with others.  It holds us back from seeing the great joy and experience that God has planned for us.  I love what Proverbs 28:13 (MSG) says:  “You can’t whitewash your sins and get by with it; you find mercy by admitting and leaving them.”

How awesome is it that God gives us all we need to release ourselves from the sin we’ve tried to so hard to hide?  We just need to admit our sin and do our best to walk away from it.  God’s mercy is right there waiting.  Friends, mentors (of course, Sparkle leaders) and God’s Word are the best tools to strengthen us and keep us on His straight and narrow path in growing.  Don’t ever feel like something you’ve said or done can’t be made right.  At times, I’m guilty of hiding things and acting as if no one could find out or even believing I wouldn’t be affected.  Living like this doesn’t benefit you or me, and it doesn’t glorify God.

God has princesses (you and me) that He is raising up and teaching to be queens.  As His princesses and queens-in-training, wouldn’t we want to wear our crowns knowing we did everything possible to keep them as sparkling and beautiful as we always imagined it could be?  It’s up to us.  Talk to your mom, talk to your leaders and friends.  Let’s agree to step out, clean out the fridge and get the ‘mold’ out of our lives.  It’s time for a start fresh.

-Lauren

Lauren Martin is a  Sparkle Tribe Leader.  She walks out a lifestyle of purity daily and is an inspiration to students and leaders alike.  Lauren is a breath of fresh air and offers encouragement and valuable advice to our team and girls.

On the last Friday of each month, www.conniefirmin.com (Sparkle by Connie S Firmin) will have various Guest Posts from random women in our community.  This month you are in for a treat!  Hope you enjoy our March Guest Blogger, Darelle Deslatte.

Have you ever felt as if you are living a double life?  On the outside you appear happy, confident, and all smiles, while on the inside you are broken, insecure, and doubtful.  I think we ALL have that tug of war in our minds from time to time. The fact of the matter is we shouldn’t let our feelings depict WHO we are, HOW we act, or reflect our VALUE.  WHO you are is a direct reflection of Jesus.  He created you in purity and beauty.  How can we doubt such divine creations?  HOW you act directly reflects Jesus as well.  Strive to be His hands and feet to all that you come across; showing love and grace just as He has shown you.  Jesus has placed so much VALUE on your life. He did not create you by accident, but specifically for a purpose only YOU can fulfill.

On too many occasions I have wasted precious time devoting thoughts to such negativity about myself.  Whether it came from people at school or work or T.V., I was my own worst critic… ME! All of those lies we allow ourselves to think come from the devil.  He wants to wreck or derail us at any cost.  He’s always trying to convince you and me not to fulfill God’s purpose for our lives.  And while that battle goes on inside our heads, as girls, we feel we have to have it all together on the outside… right?!  We cannot let anyone know we are going through a tough time. What if my friends think I’m dumb?  What if they laugh at me? Or what if they agree with all these thoughts racing inside of my mind??  

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you need to share every single thought you have with every friend you have ever had!  But if you start to think more negative thoughts about yourself than positive ones, reach out to a trustworthy friend or leader that you can share these things with. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “And if one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”  You do not have to fight the battle alone.  In fact, it’s recommended that you get some back up.  Surround yourself with positive friends that are LIFE GIVING, not LIFE STEALING.  Get involved with a Sparkle group or any kind of Youth group at your local church, make it a priority to build some healthy relationships where others can help you stand your ground… it makes the fight a little bit easier on you.

A few weekends ago Anthony Evans led worship where I attend church.  I bought his album and started listening to his songs…especially to his lyrics. This particular one hit home for me and became my inspiration for this post:

You’re fighting for me

Now I don’t have to anymore

Your love is holding me

When I can’t hold on anymore

My heart was breaking

But it doesn’t have to anymore

I don’t deserve it but you’re showing me I’m worth

I’m worth fighting for

Oh, Oh, Oh

I’m worth fighting for

After listening to this song over and over again, I began to wonder how many people, especially us girls, get to that point where they feel as though they are not worth it. Maybe they feel alone or desperate for someone to believe in them and fight for them.  More often than not, we begin to fall into a trap of believing lies and allowing deceit to lead us into decisions we did not plan on making.  Whether it’s going too far with your boyfriend, lying to your parents in order to impress the wrong group of people, or even something as small as adjusting your belief and morals just a tad to prove to someone you’re worth it…no matter what you face, fighting the battle alone will always leave you short of your destiny.  You wouldn’t want to sacrifice the gifts God has given you all because of a silly battle that didn’t even happen in real life, something that was all in your head, would you?

In our Sparkle Tribe, we use PURE as an acronym for our core values.  They stand for P= Purity, U= Unity, R= Relationship, E= Excellence.  If you UNITE with the right people (trustworthy friends/leaders), you will build RELATIONSHIPS that will allow you to fight your battles with plenty of back up keeping you strong and striving for EXCELLENCE in your life, all while living a life of PURITY.  If you are going through something that you think is too difficult to handle, just remember 2 Timothy 4:7.  “This is the only race worth running. I’ve run hard right to the finish, believed all the way.”  Don’t give up now!  God is fighting for you to finish the race because YOU are WORTH it!

Darelle Deslatte is a dedicated leader in our Sparkle Tribe and works as a College and Career Counselor.  Whether she’s working, leading or just hanging out with friends, Darelle is a shining example of purity and an inspiration not only to the girls in our group, but to all who come into contact with her.  She loves God and her faith reflects this great love to everyone she meets.   You can follow Darelle on Twitter @darelle. 

Thanks Darelle for taking the time to share some great wisdom with our readers! Good stuff!

At this month’s March Mixer for our Sparkle Tribe, we had the pleasure of hearing from our special guest, Dena Rizzo.  Dena is a renowned Hip Hop dancer and choreographer. She shared her heart and a wonderful message with the girls keeping them on the edge of their seats.  It was so good that we never even got to the dancing, and we’d like to share just a few highlights with you.

As girls, we have to protect our friends and ourselves.  You might also hear it referred to as “guarding yourself”.  You’ve gotta be choosy when picking your friends.  Test the water before you tell them your deepest secrets.  Just how trustworthy are they?  To be considered trustworthy means you are reliable and able to be trusted.  Come to think of it, just how trustworthy do others think we are?  When others are looking for the latest gossip, are we the go-to girls for the juicy stories?  If so, then you and I might want to check our own “trustworthiness” ratings.

In order to be a great friend, you’ve got to start by guarding your lips and your ears while keeping your eyes wide open.  When your friends share their heart with you, always remember the phrase “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  If you don’t mind people telling all your secrets, then I guess you have nothing to worry about.  However, most people want friends they can trust.  If you want trustworthy friends, then you must be selective about who you link up with.  Be the kind of friend you can trust.

Know who you are!  When others try to speak lies over you or about you, then you punch them back with what God says about you.  We don’t recommend getting physical to defend your stand.  If you find yourself face-to-face with a bully, then by all means, hit them with the Word…not your fist.  Use what God says about who He created you to be to counteract the lies with the truth.  If you don’t, you might just fall for  some of those lies and start believing them yourself.

In Psalm 139, the writer expresses that God knew you before you were created (awesome chapter if you have not read it); in fact, He created you.  He knows everything about you.  Nothing you have done, are doing, or will do is a surprise to God.  Nothing you do is too big for Him.  If you need a “do-over”, then have one.  Go to God, ask Him for help, follow His lead, and let Him iron out the wrinkles in your life.  He can smooth out the most difficult wrinkle with ease.  He’s even written all of your days in His book.  Live your life to the fullest and in the truth.  Be a trustworthy person and before you know it, you’ll have some great trustworthy friendships.

GUEST POST:  Each month, we will have a Guest Post from a leader with a passion for purity and teens.  Keep watching for it the last Friday of the month.  This month, we welcome Nikki Washington.  Enjoy!

She boasted, “I told him all about you!”  In her best southern accent, she squealed, “I told him you’re saved, sanctified, spirit-filled and never touched by man’s hands.  That’s right honey, I told him you’re a virgin!”  I’ll never forget when a church friend and mother came to me after a gentleman expressed some interest in me.  I know she meant well, but it was simply an awkward moment for me.  In short, she was selling me to this male suitor like I was some shiny new Geo Metro.  I could hear the commercial, “Brand new! No miles! All credit is approved! Everything must go!” Okay now I’m being silly, but you get the picture.

Early in my walk with God, I began to learn about my worth as a woman in Christ.  I began to understand what my mom couldn’t teach me and my dad wasn’t there to say to me.  I found my value far exceeded any monetary amount.  I learned I was a gift, and my body, a temple.  I was too valuable to give “it” up in exchange for dinner and a movie, or sly grins and whispers of sweet nothings.  I learned how to honor God with all of me so that He would receive glory.  And don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying it’s always been easy… but it has always been worth it.

Let me challenge you to begin to study and find out what God says about you.  Don’t let someone who didn’t create you define you.  Knowing who you are in God comes with endless benefits.  When you know your worth, you won’t give away what God has ordained for your spouse.  When you know your worth, you won’t allow someone to treat you with disdain or disrespect.  When you know your worth, you won’t settle for less than God’s best for your life.  Make a decision today to not give yourself to anyone who’s not your spouse.  Wait for God to unite you with the one He has for you.  I know it’s easier said than done, but I’m talking about what I know, not just what I’ve heard.  Even if you haven’t waited, you can make a decision to give all of yourself to God.  Try it, and watch Him wipe the slate clean.

The old saints use to say, “God will keep you if you want to be kept!”  I can attest to that.  Truthfully speaking, there were times God kept me even when I didn’t want to be kept (thank you Jesus).  And it doesn’t matter if you’ve made mistakes in the past, the wonderful thing about God is that you can start over again.  Sis, you don’t have to give yourself away anymore, you’re too good for that.  When God made you He made you fearfully and wonderfully.  There’s something to be said about the glow of a woman who has been in intimate worship with the Father.  Allow God to give you a different type of afterglow.  Take it from me, a 33 year old virgin: purity’s so worth it and you are too!

Nikki Washington is an abstinence advocate and the founder of thechastitybelt.org, a blog site dedicated to purity.  For more information, you can contact Nikki at thechastitybelt2010@gmail.com.

Thanks Nikki for sharing your heart with us this month.  I love the challenge you issued to our girls to search for their true worth.  Great message!

GUEST BLOG POST BY Jennifer Maggio.  Each month, we will be posting a Guest Blog entry from leaders around the country with a passion for purity and teens.  Watch for it the last Friday of the month.  You are in for a treat with the lineup we have.  Enjoy!

I am rarely a fan of television talk shows, but was flipping through the channels the other day and happened upon a talk show doing a piece of the now-popular “Purity Ball”.  If you are not familiar, Purity Balls are held in hotels around the country, whereby a daughter in her early teens is escorted by her father to an evening event with music, dancing, a nice dinner, etc.  The ball ends when the daughter takes a pledge to live her life purely and presents this pledge to her father, who also commits to help her in that journey.

As is the case with most media today, this talk-show host and much of the audience was tearing to shreds the guests who had signed the agreement and attended the events. I was infuriated.  Comments such as “Purity isn’t a reality in 2012.” “Sex outside marriage is not wrong.” “Abstinence doesn’t work.” were followed with an eruption of applause from the audience.

The truth is, that is the feeling of most of today’s anything-goes society.  Although 80% of the country identifies themselves as Christians, sex outside marriage has become a common occurrence and is glossed over as an event of little consequence.  And, if I’m being totally transparent, I would tell you that I, at an earlier point in my own life, felt the same as most of the studio audience that day.

At 13 years old, I was the only virgin I knew!  Everyone around me was having sex.  I held out as long as I could, and mostly due to peer pressure, I became sexually active.  For me, it was a horrific, embarrassing, and shameful experience.  I resolved I would never do it again, but peer pressure persisted, and my relationship with the Lord dwindled.  Before I even knew what was happening…..I was pregnant 4 times by 19 years old!

So the question becomes, does purity really matter?

• I would say that to the 51% of babies who are born to unwed mothers today who live in poverty, it matters.
• I would say that to the 13% of teens who will contract a sexual transmitted disease this year, purity matters.
• To the 22% of babies who were aborted last year (and to their moms), it matters.
• To the 15+ million single moms in the country, many of which are unwed single moms, purity matters.
• To the 500,000 teens who attempt suicide every year (many due to failed sexual relationships & the emotional distress that accompanies them), it matters!

The reality of sexual purity is simply this:  Our Heavenly Father loves us more than we could ever know.  His desire isn’t to deprive us of a life full of joy, fun, excitement, and happiness. Just as a parent’s desire isn’t to deprive their 4-year-old child of fun when disciplining them for running into the street after a ball, God knows what is best for us.  When we wait and do things in his timing, his way, the long-term blessings far exceed any temporal joy.

Our January Guest Post comes from author and friend, Jennifer Maggio of Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  She is passionate about helping single moms and is considered one of the nation’s leading authorities on single parent and women’s issues. She is a critically acclaimed author and sought-after speaker who has appeared on more than 100  radio and television programs. You can find more information about Jennifer’s ministry (The Life of a Single Mom Ministries) by visiting her website at http://www.jennifermaggio.com.

Thanks Jennifer for sharing your heart for purity.  You’re right, purity really does matter.

The OLD:  What an amazing year 2011 has been.  From the release of Sparkle to the Sparkle Tribe Pledge, it’s been one eventful season of celebration.  We ended the year with a bang collecting 129 copies of Sparkle for the Sparkle Christmas Project to help girls of all ages receive a copy of Sparkle.  We wrapped these books, tied bright ribbon with a cute diamond jewel on each one to remind the girls “You are made to Sparkle!” and sent them off to various locations in the United States to eventually end of in the hands of unsuspecting girls.  What a privilege this project has been!  Feedback has started coming in already, and the stories are unbelievable.  I’ll be sharing a few in the near future.  A big Thank You to each person making this project possible.  Without each of you, these precious ladies likely would not have the opportunity to receive a copy of Sparkle.  Thanks so much for helping spread the message of purity!

And now for the NEW:  Great things are happening in 2012, and we do mean great!  Sparkle Tribes are starting up in other places, and THIS warms my heart to see young people owning purity.  (If you were unable to read the previous post about owning versus renting purity, check it out.)  2012 has lots of great things in store for each you.  One of my favorite things we’ve planned so far is our monthly Guest Blog Posts coming your way the last Friday of each month throughout the year to bring you more information.  Next week, you’ll be hearing from a wonderful woman with a heart for purity, and you don’t want to miss that.  And…there’s a rumor that Sparkle may be going with Children’s Cup to Africa in 2012.  Very exciting! More on that later.  Don’t forget to check back the last Friday of the month.  We’ll see you then.

Have you seen our Facebook page?  Check it out at www.facebook.com/SparklePurity.  Help us grow by suggesting it to your friends.  Have you signed up for our newsletter?  If not, send your email address to conniefirmin@gmail.com with Sparkle News in the subject.  Check out the other areas on this site…watch the trailer, sample a chapter of Sparkle, follow us on Twitter, or check out some of the resources listed to help equip you to pursue a lifestyle of purity.   We are here to help you!

I love to watch the show “House Hunters”.  Seeing all of the different styles of decorating and the way others live is interesting to me.  Especially when they go to other countries.  Each episode House Hunters shows the prospective buyer 3 options.  They compare the options at the end, pick the best house to buy and show a follow up a few months later to see how it worked out.   I love seeing the changes they make.

One show recently caught my attention.  A family was moving overseas to Paris and was searching for the perfect place to live… not to far from the city, enough space for their large family, and close to her sister who already lives there.  The first two homes they were shown were huge houses with tons of character, but they were too far away from the sister or not convenient to the city.  The third option was a rental.  Although it wasn’t a home to purchase, the house fit all of their criteria.  The family had to weigh their decision carefully.  Would they Rent or Own?

There’s one thing you need to know.  God doesn’t want you to be a renter of purity.  He wants you to be a owner of it.  Renters don’t stay long, they come and go.  They are not loyal and usually do not invest into the property since they do not OWN it.  They are just temporary.  Owners, on the other hand, are there for the long haul.  They build equity or value as they go.  They invest into their property, do regular maintenance, and protect their purchase.  They are fully committed.

God wants you to invest into yourself.  Take time to get into God’s Word.  The Bible says the way to keep yourself pure is by “obeying God’s word” (Ps 119:9).  Read books about purity.  Connect with a good local church.  It’s so important to have others stand with you.  It’s not a half-hearted fad.  It’s an ALL-IN, SOLD-OUT commitment! Don’t just date God; get into a committed long term relationship with Him. Be an owner of purity and build some equity in YOU!

It’s no secret that I adore the great outdoors. I love trees, especially when the wind is blowing through them.  I love seeing the leaves waving hello, the branches dancing in the wind, and the sunshine peaking through as the wind swooshes through the leaves. I love it! It’s so interesting to me that small roots can hold such a magnificent giant up when the wind whips around. I recently read that trees experiencing more extreme weather conditions are more firmly rooted than those growing in secluded valleys where storms never unleash their fury.  It makes me think of us spiritually.

When we allow our spiritual roots to grow deep into God and His Word, it steadily holds us in place when the winds of life begin to blow…and rest assured, the winds of life will blow.  This principle applies in the area of purity too.   It’s easier to live a lifestyle of purity when you are connected with God.  It’s hard to try to stand strong when you are not surrounded by the right influences or have shallow roots.  Life’s hard enough with God. Don’t try to go it alone. Dig deep into the things of God so that the winds of life won’t blow you over.  Have quiet time consistently, amp up your prayer life, read the Word (and store it), get planted in a good youth group, and don’t fall for the lies this world offers you.  Trust God.  Let me encourage you to keep standing tall. Purity is a beautiful thing!

He will be like  a tree firmly planted by  streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its  leaf does not wither; And  in whatever he does,  he prospers. (Psalm 1:3)

Question:  What am I rooted in? 

In Lisa Bevere’s book, Lioness Arising, she calls out to women everywhere to awaken to the call God has for their lives, take a stand and change their world.  She uses the lioness to make it come to life.  Actually, it’s the vision God gave her.

It brings to mind this scripture for you.  1 Timothy 4:12 “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”

Just as this verse implies, you are never too young (too tall, too smart, too poor, too anything) to be an example of the right thing.  You should let your sparkle from within shine to those around you. God wants to not only awaken the hearts of women everywhere, but of every age too.  This means you as well.  Yes, you!  You don’t have to be a mature women with lots of life and work experience to hear from God or to be equipped to carry out His call on your life.  In fact, God can and does use our students in the prime of their youth.  Look at the great examples of young people leading the next generation right around you.  This week, spend some quality time with God.  Seek His heart diligently. He has much to share with you about His desires and your desires too.

Question:  What are you passionate about?