Hello, I'm Connie Firmin

Parenting teens today can be so difficult.  I think it may be something like running a marathon. Lots of training, eating right, and building endurance.  I’ve been there (parenting teen girls), and it’s no easy race. Our daughters (and sons) are facing things we never dreamed would plague their innocent minds.  Be encouraged though, the world doesn’t hold a candle to parents. The key to this marathon is training.  You, Mom/Dad, are the greatest teacher your child will ever have. If you are not talking to your child about purity, I guarantee that someone else is, and it’s probably not the message you want conveyed to them.  In fact, I recently heard somewhere around 70% of 4^th grade students either are having sex or personally know another 4^th grader who is.  4^th graders!  We’ve got to equip our teens with the truth and help them take a stand for purity.  It begins with me and you.  Read everything you can get your hands on, speak to them often and keep the door of communication open.  You’ll find a list of PARENT RESOURCES above to help equip you for the race.  A great relationship with your child is possible so be ready to talk with your kids when they open up.  Finally, be the best example of purity you can be for them and let God direct your steps.  Let’s run this marathon together!

If you have a teen daughter finishing 6th grade through high school and live in the Baton Rouge area, Summer Sparkle is the place to be!  Our team is gearing up for one fantastic summer with our girls connect group focusing on purity.  Each summer, we dive into God’s Word to study purity and make lasting friendships.  We’ll uncover the truth about being pure, having healthy relationships, being accountability, what real beauty looks like and so much more.  Summer Sparkle wraps up the summer with an awesome pledge celebration where we, along with your family, celebrate these wonderful girls and their decision to live a pure life (one of our favorite parts).  The cost is $25 (includes a Sparkle book, materials and a shirt).  You must pre-register to attend.  Here are the details:

May 29th – July 10th
Tuesday nights 5:30pm-7pm
HPC Highland Campus

To SIGN UP or for more details, email us at conniefirmin@gmail.com. Help spread the word about Summer Sparkle…tell your friends and family.  Check out these photos from last year’s Pledge Celebration too… click here.  Don’t forget to sign your daughter up today!  It’s a summer that she will remember for years to come.

On the 4th Friday of each month, we invite someone to write a Guest Post on our Blog (www.conniefirmin.com).  This month, we are honored to have Lauren Martin share her heart with you.  We believe you will enjoy this month’s guest.  Feel free to leave questions or comments.  We love feedback!

I grew up like most kids having chores.  You know, chores like cleaning your room,washing dirty dishes, folding laundry, that kind of thing.  There was one chore that I hated… no,despised, and it always seemed to be my responsibility: Cleaning out the unattended leftovers hidden in the refrigerator.  Ugh!!  I’ve always hated dumping out the old stuff quietly growing in back of the fridge.  Sometimes those once delicious meals would splash grossness of the now science experiment on me.  One word:  Gross!

No longer do I live with my mother, but, of course, I still have to clean the fridge.  This got me to thinking one day.  Our sins are a lot like the mold that grew in those leftovers. The sin starts out in secret, growing inside of us, always in a place where no one is looking or suspecting. It expands from the inside out and eventually consumes us mind, body and soul.  Bit by bit, it breaks us down and pulls us further and further away from our friends, our family and, most importantly, God.  We may be able to hide our sin from the people around us, but it’s never, ever hidden from God.  It says so in Hebrews 4:13.  “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.”

Tucking things away and allowing them fester and grow inside keeps us from enjoying and growing in our relationship with God and with others.  It holds us back from seeing the great joy and experience that God has planned for us.  I love what Proverbs 28:13 (MSG) says:  “You can’t whitewash your sins and get by with it; you find mercy by admitting and leaving them.”

How awesome is it that God gives us all we need to release ourselves from the sin we’ve tried to so hard to hide?  We just need to admit our sin and do our best to walk away from it.  God’s mercy is right there waiting.  Friends, mentors (of course, Sparkle leaders) and God’s Word are the best tools to strengthen us and keep us on His straight and narrow path in growing.  Don’t ever feel like something you’ve said or done can’t be made right.  At times, I’m guilty of hiding things and acting as if no one could find out or even believing I wouldn’t be affected.  Living like this doesn’t benefit you or me, and it doesn’t glorify God.

God has princesses (you and me) that He is raising up and teaching to be queens.  As His princesses and queens-in-training, wouldn’t we want to wear our crowns knowing we did everything possible to keep them as sparkling and beautiful as we always imagined it could be?  It’s up to us.  Talk to your mom, talk to your leaders and friends.  Let’s agree to step out, clean out the fridge and get the ‘mold’ out of our lives.  It’s time for a start fresh.

-Lauren

Lauren Martin is a  Sparkle Tribe Leader.  She walks out a lifestyle of purity daily and is an inspiration to students and leaders alike.  Lauren is a breath of fresh air and offers encouragement and valuable advice to our team and girls.

On the last Friday of each month, www.conniefirmin.com (Sparkle by Connie S Firmin) will have various Guest Posts from random women in our community.  This month you are in for a treat!  Hope you enjoy our March Guest Blogger, Darelle Deslatte.

Have you ever felt as if you are living a double life?  On the outside you appear happy, confident, and all smiles, while on the inside you are broken, insecure, and doubtful.  I think we ALL have that tug of war in our minds from time to time. The fact of the matter is we shouldn’t let our feelings depict WHO we are, HOW we act, or reflect our VALUE.  WHO you are is a direct reflection of Jesus.  He created you in purity and beauty.  How can we doubt such divine creations?  HOW you act directly reflects Jesus as well.  Strive to be His hands and feet to all that you come across; showing love and grace just as He has shown you.  Jesus has placed so much VALUE on your life. He did not create you by accident, but specifically for a purpose only YOU can fulfill.

On too many occasions I have wasted precious time devoting thoughts to such negativity about myself.  Whether it came from people at school or work or T.V., I was my own worst critic… ME! All of those lies we allow ourselves to think come from the devil.  He wants to wreck or derail us at any cost.  He’s always trying to convince you and me not to fulfill God’s purpose for our lives.  And while that battle goes on inside our heads, as girls, we feel we have to have it all together on the outside… right?!  We cannot let anyone know we are going through a tough time. What if my friends think I’m dumb?  What if they laugh at me? Or what if they agree with all these thoughts racing inside of my mind??  

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying you need to share every single thought you have with every friend you have ever had!  But if you start to think more negative thoughts about yourself than positive ones, reach out to a trustworthy friend or leader that you can share these things with. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “And if one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.”  You do not have to fight the battle alone.  In fact, it’s recommended that you get some back up.  Surround yourself with positive friends that are LIFE GIVING, not LIFE STEALING.  Get involved with a Sparkle group or any kind of Youth group at your local church, make it a priority to build some healthy relationships where others can help you stand your ground… it makes the fight a little bit easier on you.

A few weekends ago Anthony Evans led worship where I attend church.  I bought his album and started listening to his songs…especially to his lyrics. This particular one hit home for me and became my inspiration for this post:

You’re fighting for me

Now I don’t have to anymore

Your love is holding me

When I can’t hold on anymore

My heart was breaking

But it doesn’t have to anymore

I don’t deserve it but you’re showing me I’m worth

I’m worth fighting for

Oh, Oh, Oh

I’m worth fighting for

After listening to this song over and over again, I began to wonder how many people, especially us girls, get to that point where they feel as though they are not worth it. Maybe they feel alone or desperate for someone to believe in them and fight for them.  More often than not, we begin to fall into a trap of believing lies and allowing deceit to lead us into decisions we did not plan on making.  Whether it’s going too far with your boyfriend, lying to your parents in order to impress the wrong group of people, or even something as small as adjusting your belief and morals just a tad to prove to someone you’re worth it…no matter what you face, fighting the battle alone will always leave you short of your destiny.  You wouldn’t want to sacrifice the gifts God has given you all because of a silly battle that didn’t even happen in real life, something that was all in your head, would you?

In our Sparkle Tribe, we use PURE as an acronym for our core values.  They stand for P= Purity, U= Unity, R= Relationship, E= Excellence.  If you UNITE with the right people (trustworthy friends/leaders), you will build RELATIONSHIPS that will allow you to fight your battles with plenty of back up keeping you strong and striving for EXCELLENCE in your life, all while living a life of PURITY.  If you are going through something that you think is too difficult to handle, just remember 2 Timothy 4:7.  “This is the only race worth running. I’ve run hard right to the finish, believed all the way.”  Don’t give up now!  God is fighting for you to finish the race because YOU are WORTH it!

Darelle Deslatte is a dedicated leader in our Sparkle Tribe and works as a College and Career Counselor.  Whether she’s working, leading or just hanging out with friends, Darelle is a shining example of purity and an inspiration not only to the girls in our group, but to all who come into contact with her.  She loves God and her faith reflects this great love to everyone she meets.   You can follow Darelle on Twitter @darelle. 

Thanks Darelle for taking the time to share some great wisdom with our readers! Good stuff!

Recently, the question was asked about “teen pregnancy and generational curses”…very deep stuff to think about for this analytical mind.  By no means do I have all of the answers, but after some discussion and prayer, I do believe teens make decisions of their own free will that create consequences.  Some families struggle in certain areas of weakness where others may not.  Some consequences are deeper than others.  Some are easy to disguise, while others cannot be hidden.  All families have struggles; don’t be fooled.

Regardless of your family history, the best defense you have as a parent is to equip yourself.  Dig into God’s Word daily and talk often with your child.  The discussion of purity is not an “ok, we had this talk. Now you know.” kind-of discussion.  Please do not expect one chat to equip your child for life in today’s anything goes society.  Today’s young people need to see their parents walking out what they speak daily.  Share your journey with your child, tell them about some of your struggles (not all…don’t unpack your whole life on them) and your goals, and encourage, encourage, encourage them.  Be their biggest cheerleader, and pray for them daily.  Remember, someone is speaking the opposite of purity to your students 24/7 (TV, internet, friends, social media, etc).  It’s our job as parents to make sure they hear the truth about life and purity, and to equip them with the tools they need in life.  Put your students in a safe atmosphere (connect groups, youth ministries, church, etc) where they can be fitted with the gear they need for life.  However, it’s ultimately up to them to put these tools into practice as teens and young adults.  Sadly, some will choose not to and face serious consequences, but don’t let that be an excuse to look the other way.

YOU ARE the best teacher your student will ever have regardless of what anyone says.  Every day, your child is learning something from you through your actions.  If you feel your life isn’t a good example, don’t give up…you can change that.  It doesn’t mean perfection. Set a goal to improve.  Simply make the changes you need to make in your life and be honest with your child in your journey.  Make the best of your situation.  Ask God for help.  Find a good devotional or Bible study, get connected in a local church, and surround yourself with a support network.  Improving your child’s view of you is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.  As Francis of Assisi would say, “If God can work through me, He can work through anyone.”  I feel that way every day.  Lead your child by your actions and when necessary use words.  You’ve got this!

The OLD:  What an amazing year 2011 has been.  From the release of Sparkle to the Sparkle Tribe Pledge, it’s been one eventful season of celebration.  We ended the year with a bang collecting 129 copies of Sparkle for the Sparkle Christmas Project to help girls of all ages receive a copy of Sparkle.  We wrapped these books, tied bright ribbon with a cute diamond jewel on each one to remind the girls “You are made to Sparkle!” and sent them off to various locations in the United States to eventually end of in the hands of unsuspecting girls.  What a privilege this project has been!  Feedback has started coming in already, and the stories are unbelievable.  I’ll be sharing a few in the near future.  A big Thank You to each person making this project possible.  Without each of you, these precious ladies likely would not have the opportunity to receive a copy of Sparkle.  Thanks so much for helping spread the message of purity!

And now for the NEW:  Great things are happening in 2012, and we do mean great!  Sparkle Tribes are starting up in other places, and THIS warms my heart to see young people owning purity.  (If you were unable to read the previous post about owning versus renting purity, check it out.)  2012 has lots of great things in store for each you.  One of my favorite things we’ve planned so far is our monthly Guest Blog Posts coming your way the last Friday of each month throughout the year to bring you more information.  Next week, you’ll be hearing from a wonderful woman with a heart for purity, and you don’t want to miss that.  And…there’s a rumor that Sparkle may be going with Children’s Cup to Africa in 2012.  Very exciting! More on that later.  Don’t forget to check back the last Friday of the month.  We’ll see you then.

Have you seen our Facebook page?  Check it out at www.facebook.com/SparklePurity.  Help us grow by suggesting it to your friends.  Have you signed up for our newsletter?  If not, send your email address to conniefirmin@gmail.com with Sparkle News in the subject.  Check out the other areas on this site…watch the trailer, sample a chapter of Sparkle, follow us on Twitter, or check out some of the resources listed to help equip you to pursue a lifestyle of purity.   We are here to help you!

With the Holidays quickly approaching, I’ve turned up the Christmas music, decorated the tree, and started the shopping.  I’m so excited about Christmas this year, and I’m not exactly sure why since both of our daughters live out of town.  Last week, we had the famous Black Friday shopping day. I’m afraid it’s truly becoming a thing of the past.  There’s an entire week of deals now.  Stores are starting their sales earlier and earlier in an attempt to catch you and I before we spend all of our Christmas budget elsewhere.  You now have Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Small Business Saturday.  Some stores are opening on Thanksgiving Day.  So sad that the tradition my sister and I loved by spending Black Friday together shopping is slowly fading away.  Looks like we’ll have to start a new one.

Speaking of something new… If you have not heard, we have a Sparkle Christmas Project in the works.  For a limited time, buy a book as a gift, and we’ll donate one to a young reader unable to purchase their own copy.  You can also purchase books outright to donate to the project where both books will be donated.  If you’d like to specify who will receive your donated book or include a special message with your donated book, just email those details to us and we’ll do our best to get it to them.  If you are a leader or youth pastor and would like to receive books for girls in your area that cannot afford a copy, please send your request and we’ll send copies while supplies last.

We’ll do this for the entire month of December.  TO PARTICIPATE, please email us at conniefirmin@gmail.com or simply go to our website at www.conniefirmin.com to purchase the book.  Thank you for investing into the next generation!

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If you’d like to sign up for the Sparkle Newsletter, please email us your name and email address, and we will add you to the list.  

I love to watch the show “House Hunters”.  Seeing all of the different styles of decorating and the way others live is interesting to me.  Especially when they go to other countries.  Each episode House Hunters shows the prospective buyer 3 options.  They compare the options at the end, pick the best house to buy and show a follow up a few months later to see how it worked out.   I love seeing the changes they make.

One show recently caught my attention.  A family was moving overseas to Paris and was searching for the perfect place to live… not to far from the city, enough space for their large family, and close to her sister who already lives there.  The first two homes they were shown were huge houses with tons of character, but they were too far away from the sister or not convenient to the city.  The third option was a rental.  Although it wasn’t a home to purchase, the house fit all of their criteria.  The family had to weigh their decision carefully.  Would they Rent or Own?

There’s one thing you need to know.  God doesn’t want you to be a renter of purity.  He wants you to be a owner of it.  Renters don’t stay long, they come and go.  They are not loyal and usually do not invest into the property since they do not OWN it.  They are just temporary.  Owners, on the other hand, are there for the long haul.  They build equity or value as they go.  They invest into their property, do regular maintenance, and protect their purchase.  They are fully committed.

God wants you to invest into yourself.  Take time to get into God’s Word.  The Bible says the way to keep yourself pure is by “obeying God’s word” (Ps 119:9).  Read books about purity.  Connect with a good local church.  It’s so important to have others stand with you.  It’s not a half-hearted fad.  It’s an ALL-IN, SOLD-OUT commitment! Don’t just date God; get into a committed long term relationship with Him. Be an owner of purity and build some equity in YOU!

Don’t forget to check out what’s happening by clicking the EVENTS tab at the bottom of the page. Exciting things are happening!

Last night we held the kickoff for our Shine Connect Group and did what Mom’s do best: talk a lot.  Shine is a Moms connect group coming together to study God’s Word, share encouragement, and talk about raising up pure daughters in today’s crazy world.  We’ve even got some great Mother/Daughter events planned to come together while serving the community.  Our heart for this group is for Mother/Daughter relationships to flourish.  They do not have to be sour or disconnected in the teen years like so many suggest. In fact, I believe it should be just the opposite. This is a time when girls need their Moms.  Mom’s need to encourage their daughters and should be their biggest cheerleader as they grow into young women.  We also want to see Mom’s see themselves as valuable and significant.  With this in mind, I am so excited about what God has in store for these Moms and their daughters.

Pastor Dino Rizzo recently shared a great message for students and families regarding young people and church today at the Back To School Blessing.  It should be required listening for everyone. If you have not heard it, here is the link:  http://www.healingplacechurch.org/onlinesermons/watch/now-generation/    Pastor shared about the things our students face as young as 4th grade.  I heard from a teacher that by the time kids reach 4th grade they themselves or someone they personally know have already had sex. Mind boggling to think our 4th graders are there.  Pastor shared Sparkle as a great resource for parents to get for their middle/high school students, and I’m so glad he did.  We must get the message of purity into their hands and hearts.  Since the release of Sparkle, I’ve been privileged to talk with lots of great parents (and grandparents) out there all concerned about one thing:  their young person’s purity.  We, as Moms (and Dads), must take a stand for our students in this area.  Unfortunately, I’ve overheard a lot of parents modeling things other than purity. I hear them talking in the store, in our neighborhood, at restaurants, and it is heartbreaking to hear some of these conversations.  Our girls need godly examples to follow.

We must shine as we were created to do so that they will know what to do.  We’ve got to first find our own value and worth to be able to instill these amazing characteristics in our daughters.  What better example do our students have than us? We are, and always will be, our child’s greatest teacher whether we speak a word to them or not.  Our actions are always speaking something. 

Parents (grandparents, step-parents, etc), here’s a challenge for you:  Really sit down and evaluate where you are.  What are you allowing your child to see and/or hear in your actions?  Does it line up with the Scripture?  Pray about it and see what God speaks to your heart.  He thinks you are so valuable.  If you aren’t connected in a local church, get plugged in.  We were created for community, not isolation.  We need to take our place in society for our children.  They are looking for something to follow.

Question: Are you reflecting purity?  Do you see yourself as valuable?

Our Sparkle Tribe gathered together July 23, 2011 to celebrate one of my favorite events of the year: Sparkle Pledge.  During June and July, this amazing group of girls studied, shared, read God’s Word and learned about purity.  We discussed things like dating, what to look for in Mr. Right, filling up on the right things, purity, quiet time, and so much more. This final event for the summer was an all out celebration of 22 girls making a decision to live a lifestyle of purity.  I love it!  Family and friends came from different places to join in the fun and support these young ladies.

As each family arrived, we had them take a family photo with the backdrop created by our Leaders-In-Training.  We visited for a little while, blessed the food so carefully prepared the night before, and made a dash for the table.  Smiles and laughter filled the room as chocolate covered strawberries & pretzels, sandwiches, fiesta dip and Darelle’s famous rainbow cupcakes were quickly consumed.  First the parents & caregivers pledged to the girls to stand by them and walk with them in this journey. Some girls received rings while others received necklaces and still others received bracelets.  Next the girls pledged to their parents and to God to make purity a priority in their daily lives and to strive to be what God has created them to be.  What precious girls they truly are!  Finally, the girls and their parents had a few moments together as they and their mentors signed certificates to seal the deal.  Erin closed out the afternoon, and we headed downstairs to the backdrop for a quick group photo.

Those girls simply radiated Jesus to everyone around.  Such joy for me to see them so happy and proud.  They really sparkled!  What a great time we all had.  I’m looking forward to what God has in store for these amazing girls, and for our fall events.  So precious!  Until then, enjoy some photos of Sparkle Pledge 2011.

Oh, and before I forget… A special thank you to Eric Velarde for taking all of these amazing photos for Sparkle.  And I’m so grateful to all of the amazing leaders we have. Without each and every one of you, Sparkle wouldn’t be what it is today!  Love you!

Click here to view photos